Edge of the Falls (After the Fall) Read online

  "I know we’re leaving, to go to the City," he says. "I know it's our future, the best opportunity any of us will ever be given. But even knowing that, I know how hard it will be. The danger we will face—just getting there will risk so many. Jade has threatened not to go at all. And it won’t be easy, once we’re there."

  I am still, waiting, wondering. Wondering what he will say next. He looks at me, and sighs. "But still, knowing that, I cannot help but want you there. Even knowing you will be safer in Mlena, or with Berg--I want you with me. I want this chance at life with you." He says the last fiercely, so fiercely.

  I bite my lip, so hard blood fills my mouth. His nostrils flare and I lick my lips nervously—blood has always appealed to the genetic experiments. Some claim it is like sharks Before. The look in his eyes makes me wonder.

  His lips are on mine before I can say anything. It’s not gentle. It's fierce, demanding, bruising. It's as strong as the water crashing over the Falls, threatening to sweep me away into a torrent of emotion and jagged hope that I am not sure I can survive. And yet—given half the chance, I throw myself on the mercy of that emotion, on that hope, and pray I will survive.

  This is my choice. This man—this wild, wild creature, this dangerous life and love—emotion so pure it makes my heart race and my eyes tear. This is what I will follow.

  If I am allowed the choice.

  **

  He falls asleep in my bed, lying curled protectively around me—on top of the blankets. I find it easy to rest in his embrace, slipping effortlessly into sleep. His words, after the kiss, haunt me.

  This City is a chance built for those bred to survive—and you are so very fragile.

  I cannot face that statement. I don’t want to chase the thought to its logical conclusion. So I sleep, lightly, surrounded by the knowledge that, for the moment at least, we are together. For the moment I am secure in that, in the knowledge that he loves me.

  I wake when Merc slinks into the room. His bone white claws scrape the stone floor, jarring me. Arjun’s arm tightens around my waist, enough to make me wince. The ban-wolf looks at us, arching his eyebrows in amusement. “Work things out, hmm?”

  I flush and Merc laughs. It’s edged with something, though, that makes my stomach twist. I nudge Arjun awake. How tired is he, that he did not wake at the first slight noise? How much, I wonder, is Rook ordering him to do?

  He yawns near my ear and I shiver as he presses a kiss beneath it absently before turning his attention to Merc. “What time is it?” he asks, sleepily.

  “Past time to get up,” Merc says, and Arjun sits up, tension filling him.

  “What happened?” he asks, instantly alert.

  I don’t want this. I want nothing but to lose myself in Arjun’s arms—not face the crisis, whatever it is.

  "A storm is coming," Merc says, his eyes worried.

  Fear clutches me, and we're both moving, half stumbling over each other in our haste. I shiver once, and he throws a blanket around me as we almost run from my tiny cave.

  "How many are out?" Arjun demands, tersely.

  "Two dozen—Ulte and Igor are in the meadow."

  The sick look on Arjun's face tells me how far the meadow must be. "What do I need to do?" I demand, and both take a split second to pause, look at me.

  "Let me help," I beg.

  Arjun nods, and snatches my hand as we run through the tunnels.

  When he pulls me into a cavern, I pause for a heartbeat, taking it in. The smooth, curving stone walls, the stalagmites and piles of stones, the tidy corner with tables, the torches that light it.

  This is their home.

  And it’s in chaos. Screams are echoing, animal sounds that make my ears ache. Gali is shouting orders at a small cluster of females. She catches my eye and mouths the word Jade at me. I nod my understanding, and turn.

  Arjun has vanished, swallowed by the chaos of the pack. Rook appears beside me, his brown eyes hard. “He can’t coddle you now,” he says, but the words aren’t harsh.

  I nod. “I know. Where is Jade? I can help with the wounded.”

  He points one claw toward the tables where the tiny gray ban-wolf is darting around, then turns as a pair of ban-wolves bound into the large cave.

  There are no curious glances, no lingering resentments—nothing separates me from the frantic flurry of the pack. After weeks of separating me from the pack, they don’t even have time to notice me. Jade looks up as I reach her, and her eyes narrow for an instant, a med-tech’s assessing look. I’ve seen it before from Gwen. Then she seems to make a decision, and nods briskly. “Set out supplies on the trays—Luce!”

  A black ban-wolf appears at her elbow, her brows creased in worry. “Ma’am?”

  “Show her how to make the ointment. Quickly.”

  The ban-wolf doesn’t even bother to give me a curious perusal. She turns toward a wood table backed against the cave wall, where sharp knives and clean pots are piled with rolls and rolls of gauze. “Crush ten fuzzflower with this,” she says quickly, handing me a pestle and mortar and a bag of starrbriars. “Add two pinches from these pots, and three from the others.” She points, her movements jerky. “One pot to each tray. Add the gauze, and a knife, and make another. And hurry.”

  It is something like torture, to stand still and make the ointment. I can feel the tension mounting in the cave. Rook is calling off names—a rapid-fire litany.

  The leader is making sure all of his pack is present and accounted for. I can feel the sap sticking to my fingers, the familiar warm tingle it causes. I finish the first pot of ointment, and set it aside.

  Acidstorms are rare—at the Manor we can go months without being hit by one. But when they do come, the devastation they leave behind is unparalleled. We have a high-grade weathershield we use exclusively for acidstorms, but the outbuilding always sustains heavy damage—once, it was destroyed completely. Another time, when we had enough warning, we retreated to the City.

  No one is entirely sure what caused the acidstorms. There were plenty of theories—the poison plants affecting the water supply, the core of the earth shifting. During the Cataclysm the force of so many bombs going off in such a short amount of time broke something. While it did not shatter the earth, something essential in its core had fractured. And that shifted sometimes. Every few years, devastating earthquakes wracked the region. But, occasionally, there were small quakes, little tremors that sent up plumes of choking smoke and acrid fumes from great fissures in the earth.

  Some thought the acidstorms came from those fumes and smoke.

  Others claimed it was toxins in the air, a higher concentration than normal, being purged in a devastating rain.

  No one knew for sure. No one could survive the full force of an acidstorm, so there was no way to study one. The acid ate its way through everything, and it came in a torrential downpour—there was no gentle mist, no soft drenching ground soak. It was nature at its most furious, lashing out at what remained of the race who had destroyed it.

  It was awe-inspiring and terrifying. It scared me more than anything other than going over the Falls.

  "Do the acidstorms reach into the caves?" I ask, my voice trembling a little.

  Luce is pounding ointment next to me, and she flicks her long black hair out of her eyes. "Sometimes. We've had cave-ins, in the past. Rook keeps us here, just in case there's a collapse in one of the tunnels."

  The thought makes my knees weak. Being buried in the mountain, trapped here, is enough to make me sway. If Luce notices, she does not say.

  A scream echoes through the hall, and everything, everyone stills. I peer over my shoulder—not everyone. Jade is still moving, muttering to herself as she checks supplies.

  "We've survived this before," Rook says, his voice pitched loud enough to echo off the stone roof. "We'll survive again. It won't be easy, but we will. No one has permission to leave the hall. Gali will be here, and she is my eyes in this. As others come in, do what you can to ease them. Mated pa
irs, stay together—I don't want a panic because you lost each other."

  He says nothing else, simply dropping off his perch and taking Gali by the arm. I can see him say something to her quickly, his head dipping toward her. Then he releases her and screams again.

  Around the hall, ban-wolves are moving, separating from the pack, racing for the exit, following Rook. I see a flash of white, and terror makes me freeze. I make a sound, a noise that is like a wounded animal, and Luce jerks next to me. "What is it?" she demands, looking around for a wounded ban-wolf.

  "Arjun," I whisper. I wipe my hands clean on a rag, thrusting the mortar and pestle at her. "I'll be right back," I promise.

  I catch her nod before I dart away, fear and fury warring for supremacy in my chest.

  "Get settled against the far wall. Idda is monitoring the food stores—until we know how long the storm will last, everyone is being rationed." Gali is speaking to a small group of ban-wolves, and I see fear etched on every face. Worry. The smell of it is thick in the air, choking me.

  "Gali," I gasp out, and her eyes come to me. She seems to understand instinctively, because I see the fear in her gaze for a split second before she wipes her face blank, empty of emotion.

  "You’re supposed to be helping Jade,” she says, turning away.

  "Gali, what are they doing?" I demand, and I force my voice steady, firm.

  She yanks me away from the ban-wolves milling about, away from all of the pack. "We have people out there, Sabah,” she hisses. "They have to go for them."

  "Arjun doesn't," I protest.

  "He's the best—the best tracker, one of the fastest ban-wolves. He was a trained Keeper, damn it. He has to go.” Her voice shakes on the last word, and I see what she is desperate to hide—that I am not the only one afraid, terrified for the ban-wolves who have gone in search of the others.

  I nod, biting down my arguments. There is nothing to say right now--nothing I can do to bring him back. I retreat to Jade’s work area. If I could find an empty corner, I still wouldn’t. Inactivity will only allow me to think, to worry. So I throw myself into work, and let my mind go as numb as my fingers soaked in starrbriar sap.

  Time continues to slip by—I've made more pots of ointment than I care to count, my fingers are shaking, burning from the tingling heat of the starrbriars.

  In the distance, over the soft noises that fill the hall, we can hear the first sounds of the destruction—a devastating crashing that seems to tremble in the air. A tree, brought down by the acid.

  Luce is busy, speaking in hushed tones to Jade. I sneak a glance at Gali—she is distracted, handling a dispute between two ban-wolves over a spot of ground. I hold my breath the whole way, but with my head ducked down, I slip through the restless ban-wolves. They are absorbed in their pack agony, and I am unnoticed as I slip into the tunnel that leads to the forest.

  "Bad idea," a lazy voice says near my feet.

  I curse, halting. Merc is sitting on the ground, his posture identical to the first time I saw him. I send him a pleading look. "I can't just wait, Merc," I whisper.

  He laughs, devoid of any sympathy. "Do you think it's easy for any of them? For Gali—that's her brother and her lover out there. Why should you, a human, get a pass to break orders?"

  His words hit me harder than I expect, and I flinch. Tears burn in my eyes, and I shake my head. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "The waiting—it hurts. Knowing he's in danger, and not being able to do anything."

  He shifts, moving slightly to the side. I slide down the rock wall, and draw my knees to my chest, mirroring his position.

  "I know it does," he says, quietly. "Arjun is my recon partner. Letting him go out alone is killing me."

  "Why did you?" I ask, curious despite my worry.

  "Someone was needed here," he says simply. "And he trusts me. Rook does, too. They don't need to worry about the pack right now."

  I want to ask if they will be all right. I want to be reassured. But instead, I lean my head back against the stone, and let my eyes close. Merc will provide no false reassurances—he has proven that just now. We sit in silence, and despite the worry, exhaustion tugs me down, into a fitful sleep.

  **

  Merc tenses beside me, and it jars me from my slumber, brings me instantly to wakefulness.

  "What is it?" I whisper, trying not to distract him.

  His ears are pricked forward, his expression intent as he peers into the darkness. A whine slips from him, so soft it seems unconscious. A scream come from the tunnel, and in less time than it takes to blink, he's on his feet, yelling, "Gali, JADE!"

  The ban-wolves rushing from the darkness of the tunnel are like something from a nightmare. Skin is burned away, smoke trailing them. Blood stains bone white claws, and they communicate like animals—in snarls and grunts and yips. After three weeks of seeing them as slightly different humans, I suddenly can see nothing but the animal. The wolf.

  Gali freezes when she sees me, but shakes it off as she sees the others. Jade screeches, and a heartbreakingly familiar scream answers--a musical voice I would recognize anywhere.

  "Arjun," I whisper.

  Merc pushes me back and the ban-wolves rush past. I follow slower, and watch, dazed, as the pack welcomes them back. Jade is maneuvering the wounded—they are all wounded—to the med beds. The pack is crowding them, sniffing and yipping, voices mingling in a tumultuous sound of animal joy.

  I feel a thousand miles away, watching. So I turn away, ignoring the tears burning in my eyes, and stumble my way through the caves to my tiny stone room. It is empty--blessedly silent. I curl in the bed that is familiar, wrapped in the blanket that smells a bit wild, and finally let the tears come.

  **

  “Why aren’t you in the pack hall?” he demands, when I pry my eyes open.

  I don’t answer right away, scanning him for damage. His fur is matted, singed in spots. It’s lost the pure white that I adore, and looks a sickly gray. There are patches of gauze on his arms—one of his hands is wrapped in it.

  He looks like hell.

  “Sabah,” he snaps, jarring me from my thoughts, “why the hell aren’t you in the pack hall?”

  “I’m not pack,” I say, and despite my best effort, I cannot keep the bitterness from my voice.

  He stares at me for a moment, fury and disbelief filling his eyes before he mutters a curse and turns away. “Get up. Rook wants everyone in the hall until the storm is over.”

  “Rook isn’t my pack leader,” I snap, stung. “I’m staying here.”

  He’s looming over me, his claws gripping my arms, in a heartbeat. The kiss is hard, demanding, almost bruising and I go limp in his hold, caught in a force as devastating as the storm raging outside. His animal instincts have not receded, and his eyes are furious—but his claws are still gentle, a light press as he holds me, shakes me a little. “Don’t do this. Not now, Sabah. Please—just do what Rook wants.”

  I can’t shake the thought of him, of the others, of the pack streaming around them, welcoming them. I can’t shake the sounds. But arguing is pointless, and takes more energy than I have. I stand up, and follow him back to the pack hall, hating the distance between us.

  “He doesn’t know you’re missing,” Arjun murmurs, right before we reach the hall. Merc is standing near the entrance, and his eyes are hurt, betrayed—I feel a bit ashamed of myself.

  I nod, and stick to the shadows. Rook is absorbed with Jade, but his eyes find Arjun as he stalks into the pack hall. And they don’t miss me, returning with him. Coldness fills his eyes, a coldness that chills me even from this distance. Arjun draws me down, settling me in his embrace, and I sigh.

  Hours pass, and I lose myself in observing. The pack has settled, the tension easing now that all of them are together. Some press around the med beds, and Jade chides them half-heartedly as she tends to the most grievously wounded. Others are wrestling, and most gather to watch—I think it is a way to keep themselves occupied, entertained. I half-sleep while
watching, and at some point, Arjun wakes me, forcing me to eat.

  We don’t speak, but I snuggle against him, and whisper, “I’m sorry.”

  He kisses my hair, and pulls me into his lap, cradling me.

  Merc joins us for a while, but there is a reservation in his speech that was not there before. I know I have hurt him, slipping away like that, and wonder how to go about fixing it.

  “Arjun,” I say, when Merc wanders off in search of Rook. He makes a humming noise that I feel more than hear, and I lean closer, speaking into his ear. “What is Merc’s story?”

  He frowns, his eyes going unerringly to the other ban-wolf. “He was a Citizen of Mlena. His mother was older, when she met her Quota.”

  A chill slips down my spine, and I give him a worried look. “She was young for the Purge, but she’d recently been to see med techs. Cancer had taken her whole lung. The Commission made the decision—she had met her Quota, and her children had reached Majority. She was an office aide, nothing that was essential to the City’s working. And the med-tech bills would be too much of a drain on the system. So two months after she was diagnosed, she received notice of the Purge.”

  He takes a deep breath, letting it out with a sigh. “He protested. Went before the Prince himself. They didn’t change their minds, and he called them out—publicly. They Stripped and changed him in retaliation.”

  I shudder, my eyes tracing the form of the sardonic ban-wolf where he slouches near Rook. It is odd, despite his lazy, complacent air, there is something forever watchful about him. “I hate the Commission,” I murmur into Arjun’s ear.

  His grip on me tightens, and I sigh.

  “Sabah,” he says, and something about his voice makes my blood freeze. “You have to go back.” I sit up, my eyes denying it, denying what he is about to say.

  “And you have to stay there.”

  Part 3

  The Return